Blog Post

The End of Self-Development?

Experiencing wholeness doesn’t happen by ending separation, it happens by embedding it in an animate, implicit, contextual, ever changing whole


June 3, 2022





The idea of self development is a slippery slope. Yes, we do need to engage with it to a degree, so we can develop the capacity to truly be present with an animate whole, to choose presence, without collapsing into an egoic and limited sense of self, reactivity and dissociation. This requires an internally regulated state of safety, the willingness to be vulnerable, and the decision to reveal ourselves fully, to bring our wounded parts into relationship. This is the process of healthy (healthy meaning leading to wholeness) individuation.

One of the themes that often keeps us stuck in an endless cycle of self-development and self-improvement is our perspective on trauma as something that, even if tell my self I'm not trying to fix, we are still trying to somewhat make disappear. What we don't see then is that our traumas are an initiation into an archetype, into a frequency that we have chosen to karmically and dharmically integrate in your lifetime. It’s not something unfair or bad that happened to us, it’s an initiation into our purpose. It’s going to repeat throughout our life over and over again. We are going to immerse ourselves in this archetypal wound because our soul has chosen to marinate in this human archetype so we can participate in it’s integration for the whole collective humanity. It is time we grow beyond resentment about the journey our life has been seemingly forced onto, and understand that it didn’t happen to us, we profoundly chose to engage with this archetype for the whole of life. If we can see this, we free ourselves from the victim state and understand that there’s nothing that needs to be fixed, changed or repaired inside of us. The only thing that needs to happen is that we choose to build a new relationship to these disintegrated parts, that we choose to live not only from the vantage point of an individual self, but also from the perspective of wholeness that is already complete and manifest while we get distracted by our limited self.

Once we reach the maturity and capacity to choose if we follow a trigger or stay fully present, it is possible to look beyond the idea of the individual self, to start the process of re-identification with the whole. Remembering and experiencing that we are what is in its entirety. That the experience of an individual self is nothing but a transitory developmental phenomenon within that whole. A perceptual illusion, an interpretation of a sensory experience. It doesn’t have subjectivity, it only exists to the degree that it serves the proliferation and differentiation of this one life, not perpetuate its fragmentation.

We then overcome the addiction to the constant improvement of the self, trying to change its experience, manipulating its sensations and emotions. We stop running from workshop to workshop, fixated on the idea to turn the individual self into an experience of wholeness, instead of choosing to attend to the world as the whole we already are, beyond separation, while compassionately including it. Because true wholeness transcends and includes the individual self, and thus the idea of separation. You become truly whole once you understand that you are never not whole.

So experiencing wholeness doesn’t happen by ending separation, it happens by embedding it in an animate, implicit, contextual, ever changing whole. This is the beginning of the journey of evolution beyond the paradigm of separation. Wholeness and separation contradict each other, and yet separation is part of wholeness, without it being true the other way around as well: wholeness is not a part of separation.

Often our fear keeps us in the paradigm of separation. We don’t want to let go of the idea of an individual self because we haven't experienced anything else. This way we are denying the very paradigm of wholeness through the attachment to our subjectivity. This is where embodiment becomes a magical gift to overcome this existential and primal fear of non-existence and death.

Attention is what creates our experience and uncovers our indivisible relationship with the one whole. It is this attention that is deciding if we are suffering or if we are free. This is why healing doesn’t happen through changing the part of us that lives in separation, it happens through acknowledging it, honoring its gifts, understanding its limitations, and consciously choosing to attend to the cosmos through the eyes of our whole self. This whole self is ready to step into true responsibility, alive participation, powerful creativity, and deep purpose. In alignment with our soul and our undivided self that is one with this whole universe.

If you want to embark on this journey, I wholeheartedly invite you to join the Undivided Training.

We have a couple discounted last minute tickets available. Please reach out if financial struggles are keeping you away from this opportunity.

Lennart is a growth and leadership facilitator. He explores the edges of individual and collective development through the angles of consciousness, embodiment, and deep ecology using an integral framework of the whole, undivided cosmos.

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